winter blues/16 weeks to go

My winter blues/seasonal depression isn't that bad this year. I managed so far to keep up on laundry, dishes and cooking like I would during the spring/summer/fall months. And that's terribly unlike me. I feel the baby has somehow brought on an unconscious higher level of function to my life. Yet it could be totally conscience, I have no idea. It's not very typical that I am able to act normal during the long cold dark winter. It has always struck me as odd that other people continue on with meeting friends, going out *gasp* on a weekday in the cold darkness acting like it's perfectly acceptable to be happy. I can't remember ever enjoying any type of quality of life in winter time. It really hit me the worst for the first time the fall that I turned 17. Every year since then each year has gotten progressively worse. I'm not going to lie and say that I am feeling great but I don't feel hopeless like usual. It must be this little pound of cute in my belly. I guess it's my instinct to continue on and take care of her. I intend to take care of myself and be very watchful for post partum depression so I don't end up committed like my dooce.com hero Heather Armstrong. I think my next doctors appt will be discussing pediatricians and post care. Funny to be talking about this stuff when I still have yet to gain some weight.


Speaking of not weighing enough, yesterday i walked over to the pregnancy side of the office where it seems that anyone in that area is spontaneously pregnant within weeks or months or each other. We kind of passed it around like a sickness to each other over there.  That was before i moved to the other side of the office, of course.  So anyway i was immediately informed that i was absolutely certainly too small to be 24 weeks pregnant. They demanded that i was incorrect when i said i hadnt gained any weight, that i actually lost weight.  Like it was impossible to not have gained any weight at this stage in pregnancy.  I didnt realize there was such a stigma from the weight-gaining pregnant women against the non-weight-gaining pregnant women. I am not losing weight on purpose ladies! I don't own a scale so I'm excited and nervous to see if I gained weight. I don't want to deprive my girl of any nutrients she needs. It actually occurred to me today that I have 16 weeks left. Now, I've been counting down for quite some time but it dawned on me today that at the recommended pound per week I would only gain 16 pounds. Now I'm no expert but that doesn't seem like enough. So does this mean I will blow up at the end? Or am i not going to gain enough weight? I'm not sure what happens to you when you dont gain enough weight.  I'm pretty sure it causes malnutrition and preterm labor but let's hope that won't happen for my sake....well more for Lauren's sake.  Please.

Jen