23 weeks

Today I'm 23 weeks. According to "what to expect when you're expecting" this is the beginning of the 6th month. But some books and websites say month 6 begins at week 25. I hate that everything contradicts when it comes to pregnancy. I'd have to say that the 9 month time span is still the general understanding of pregnancy even though it's wrong according to the medical community. I'm not sure where it got started. The pregnant women should have a movement to teach the world that it's really 10 months. Pregnancy is 40 weeks and if you were to assume that each week is 4 weeks, since you cant be exact, then week 23 would be the 3rd week of month 6. But if i was to tell people i was 9 months pregnant at week 33-36 (as it should be) then people would assume i was almost ready to give birth when in fact i have the whole month 10 ahead of me.  But it doesn't really matter to me how you count it. I just wish it was consistent. Week 23 my baby is as big as a papaya even though I haven't gained an ounce yet. Tom was really proud that I ate all my dinner last night. I can't remember the last time I ate that much food. Tom's stir fry is always the best!

I'm starting to feel the stretching sensations in my belly. I also kept feeling tightening in my belly all around. This must be the round ligament pain. It's pretty uncomfortable and makes me not want to eat. It feels like a full feeling after you've just eaten a big meal. It also feels a bit like someone just punched me in the stomach. The heartburn is still going strong! Tums have become my new bff. Pepcid complete didn't work any different or any better for me. My heartburn only hits about an hour after I eat and it doesn't persist for hours and hours so I don't feel like it's necessary to take a medicine that last for hours if my symptoms don't even last for hours. Plus berry tums taste better.

The other day I shoveled my sidewalk. I'm not sure if that was allowed since I'm not supposed be lifting heavy stuff. It didn't look heavy but those inches sure do pile up to something heavy. I got winded easy while doing it. I don't think that's pregnancy related. I think that's me being out of shape. I miss running on warm summer nights. I miss the way I'd sweat so bad I thought it would never stop. I miss that meditative time to myself outside with the sun and the road and me. We were best pals, kinda like I am with my tums these days. I can't run with my placenta so low. I suppose I could walk or jog but that aggravates my sciatica and then I can't even get off the couch. I feel like an old lady. What a terrible things we have to go through for our lovely little babies.

So I got to thinking today and I got immediately frozen at the fear that my child will be ugly. Tom and I are both non-ugly so you'd think this would not be on my mind. But unfortunately some people are just born ugly. I don't want my child to be picked on. I'm sure this is a completely normal mommy thought. But it's bothering me that I am growing her inside me and I can't see her. It's so incredibly unfair. I wish I had a see through panel where I could peek in and check on her like maybe an oven door. I just want to know that everything is cooking ok. I know i get to see her in ultrasounds but the ultrasounds are lame and all you see is a freaky skeletor looking child. And of course the ultrasound tech didn't warn me so my shock was sudden and loud when she came up on the screen. I have another ultrasounds on saturday to check the heart and the placenta. I'll see if I can get an "it's a girl" view printed out from her this time. You'd think that would be automatic when they tell you the news but apparently it's not. I'll work on it. 

Honestly Pregnant,
Jen