Here i am 32 weeks pregnant. 7 weeks and 6 days till my due date. I had my last monthly check-up a few days ago. Now I go in for check-ups every 2 weeks. Maybe this will make it feel like it's going by faster. In the time that I have been pregnant, people have been born, turned into little old ladies and died of old age. This is the slowest time has ever possibly moved. And it's interesting because I feel really busy, which usually has the opposite affect. It's even more interesting that I am more eager than ever to speed time up because I'm not ready to have a baby. I keep putting off packing my suitcase. I stopped reading baby books. I still refuse to make a "birth plan", especially since my doctor hasn't mentioned anything about it. I stopped reading other mommy blogs. I just feel so over it. I'm so bored with being pregnant. I want my body back. I want my lungs back. I want my sinuses back. I want to drink a giant glass of vodka and coke, the caffinated kind, with extra vodka and extra caffeine. I want pants with zippers and buttons instead of elastic. But most of all, I want all the rib kicking to stop. I'm just so over the invasion of my body. And it's so depressing that she has to come out of my vagina.
Speaking of vagina, I asked my doctor about pain medicine and she said she has a standing epidural order for all her patients. If I ask for it, I can have it. It doesn't matter how far I'm dilated or if she's even there to order it. She said "if you're admitted for labor, you're committed to this so why be in pain?". Man, I like her. She's a girl with my kinda low tolerance for pain! It helps that she just had a baby herself 6 months ago. She's got it fresh in her mind from the mama viewpoint.
At work today I got in the elevator and in strolls a stroller with the most adorable baby in the world... but enough about the baby... The girl pushing the stroller is with a couple other women, possibly her mom and aunt? She must've been bringing her baby in to show off to her co-workers the creature she created with her lady parts. Her mom took one look at me and said "this will be you pretty soon" and I smiled and said "yup". But the baby's mama turned to me and said "do everything you possibly can do before this happens. Your life changes forever" so of course I say "well there's not many things that I really can do at 8 months pregnant". Cuz I mean, seriously, what things is she talking about? The only things I miss are mentioned above (refresher: breathing without pressure on my lungs and sinuses, a kick free rib zone, vodka and caffeine). So then she says "going to the gym is my absolute luxury, if I get to go at all". But in my mind I'm thinking, is she telling me to literally abort Mission: Pregnancy? Because I'm kind of committed at this point. There's no turning back now. And the last thing in the entire world I want to do right now is go to the gym, well you know other than like, swim with sharks or eat poison. So I ask again, internet society, why do women love to bring you down about your pregnancy? Do they want to warn you? Does she think I am expecting to squeeze out an adorable fluffy pink bunny who can take care of her fluffy pink bunny self? Because I'm quite aware this is not a fairy tale ending. Especially with my story so far:
- Boy meets girl.
- Boy and girl struggle through an agonizingly empty pocketed 7 year relationship moving from job to job, apartment to apartment.
- Both boy and girl lose jobs and move back in with boys parents
- Girl files bankruptcy.
- Boy and girl finally get married and take their very first vacation in 7 years as a honeymoon.
- Girl gets pregnant and miscarries baby.
- Girl gets pregnant again and here we are
So I'm not expecting an ounce of good fortune because that's just not the way this fairy tale works. I know this will be hard. I know I will cry. I know my life changes forever.
Honestly Pregnant (still),
Jen
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