sleep....

I wake up everyday very early in the morning and struggle to get myself dressed and ready for work in time. Pretty much every single morning I think to myself "how am I going to have time to feed, change, dress and drop off a baby at daycare?". It's a terrible fear I can't get out of my head because I know that I will have to wake up AT LEAST an extra hour early which will be around 5am. But I'm guessing I may have to wake up even earlier. And on top of that my child is obviously not going to sleep through the night. So is this just how my life is going to be? Because I don't agree that humans can function on chronic sleep loss. I can just envision myself getting checked into a hospital for exhaustion.

But enough of that terror.

I guess I should be glad for the time I have left as just the two of us for the next few months. Even though it isn't exactly what I'd call "quality time". Week 1- 6 was constant anxiety and paralyzing fear of miscarriage. Week 6-12 was the worst sickness you could ever imagine. It was worse than the flu combined with hell. It was pain I could not ever describe. Just day and night of terrible vomit, fatigue, dizziness and aches and pains. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Week 12 was when I learned about my placenta previa which shut down any fun I could have had for the rest of my pregnancy. But that was also the week I first saw a heartbeat on an ultrasound. That was quite a special moment but it didn't reduce my fears of miscarriage. I guess once you have one you can never fully trust in your own body again. Week 13 to this current week 19 I have felt great nausea relief yet the sciatic pain, migraines and heartburn have taken over. Oh and not to mention the expanding belly. It's a cute belly I suppose... if you ignore the garden of hair growing all over it.

Cheers!
Jen