my cantaloupe

So I'm gearing up to move into the 21 week range. That will put me into the "more than halfway over" category. Each day seems longer than the one before it. I can barely remember my pregnancy test being positive. It seems like such a distant memory. Believe me it WAS a long time ago. I took my pregnancy test before my period was even late. I just "felt" pregnant. We had some money in the bank saved up specifically for fertility appointments and testing and we were absolutely dreading having to go through all of that but Tom and I wanted a little baby so badly that we felt that was our only option. So we had been obsessing over ovulation schedules and pregnancy tests every 2 weeks like it was the only thing that mattered.  At that point Tom was 27 and I was 26 and all I could think was how long the fertility process was going to take and how badly I wanted to get it started so I could have my 2 children before I turned 30. I'm not sure that's possible anymore but I feel more relaxed about it. I turned 27 right after I got pregnant and I will turn 28 soon after I give birth so maybe #2 will come AT age 30 instead of before 30. I know... I know it's not that big a deal but it was always my goal to have kids in my 20's while I still had enough energy and stamina to birth them and chase after them.




Speaking of energy and stamina...that's something my hair has none of these days. It is the most lifeless, flat, scraggely it has ever been in my life. My miscarriage was 6 months before I got pregnant with Lauren so my hair hadn't even really started growing back in yet before this next set of hormones started attacking my hair. I keep reading about people saying they've had the best hair ever while pregnant. Well I want you to know there is a whole other set of people who will flat-out disagree. It feels harder for me because I never had nice or thick hair to begin with. I have the finest, thinnest, straightest hair of anyone I know. But the worst part of this chronic never-ending bad hair "year" is that the hair is just breaking off close to the roots so I have all this fuzzy staticky hair standing straight up about an inch or so long on top of my head. People with thick or curly hair don't understand this phenomenon us straight haired girls deal with. The other hairs tend to blend in with the broken hairs and they aren't really noticeable on them. But good ol straight hair just lays completely flat. It doesn't even have volume at all so each broken piece is more noticeable on us. Whatever. I hate my hair.

On a positive note, this child has grown into melon sized fruit by now. She's a cantaloupe at 20 weeks! Wow! I can't believe she's that big. Pretty soon strangers will be touching my belly and I will touch theirs right back. I can't wait to see their reaction and laugh at them and say "you don't like it either?? Huh. What makes you think I would like it?" Don't think I won't do it.

Honestly Pregnant,
Jen